Always get a litte depressed

I am very bummed not to be at the Nationwide race tonight. I always get a little sad over the September race. Why? Because it is like the close of the nice, summery weather for me. The spring race is the start of that weather and then the September race is the end. That is probably why I prefer the spring race... So I now have depression on depression. Not a good combo. I have felt very dissatisfied lately. I am just not satisfied with my life. I started to really evaluate a lot of thing in it trying to figure out how to fix it or what I could do to change it. The heart of it is that the dissatisfaction really lies with me. I am not happy with myself. That starts to bleed out into other things, of course, so I have to stop the bleeding where it starts. Will breast implants fix the bleeding? Will losing another 15 pounds do so? There is always something a woman wants to fix so where do I start and then where do I end? It is a bit frustrating too because here my husband gets better looking with age, and I just look older. I do not know the answer but I wish I did. Part of me wonders if this really is just the winter blues coming on early or if I really have an issue with myself. I hate to hear everyone talk about how wonderful fall is. It burns my tail. Oh yes, it is great. It is 55 in the am so you have to wear long sleeves or a sweater, but by noon, it is over 80 so you are sweating. The leaves start dying. Sorry, any season associated with death just does not sound appealing to me, but that is just me. Fresh fruit is not so fresh and not so good. Our bodies start storing fat more and our brains make us eat more in order to store more fat in preparation for the winter cold. The days get shorter fast. What is so freaking great about the fall?? In my view the only two good things are pomegranates and Halloween and even Halloween has a minus because it makes us fat and sugar addicted. I try to find a few things for which I am grateful each day. The fall makes it tough, but I will try for at least three today...1. Pomegranates. I bought my first two of the season today. 2. A magical moment where I learned how brilliant my son really is. I knew he was smart, but he is way smarter than I thought. 3. Moments of peace and quiet with my sexy husband. (I'll even go for four today.) 4. Firmer thigh. I have always hated my thighs. Now not so much. They are really changing shape.
Perhaps it is just the early beginnings of the winter blues after all....Here is to a warm fall and a short, mild winter!!!!!!!!!!!!!