My knee right knee is killing me on the outer side of it. It is ok if I am walking until I rest it for a while or go up or down a stair. Then it hurts like hell. When I am just walking for any length of time it is ok. A co-worker thinks I should seek medical attention. I just feel like a doc is going to tell me to rest it, ice it, heat it, etc which I am already doing. I am just hoping it is better tomorrow and that maybe I can hit the gym by Wed and then run again by Saturday. Maybe I will not run and just walk. Maybe I will take another week off from running. The crazy thing is that my quadricep muscles still hurt...go figure. It has been two full days since I did regular squats and lunges. My muscles must be shredded in my legs or something.
If I recover from this episode in the next week or two, I am going to do it. I am going to run a half marathon. I probably will not have enough time for this one in November, but maybe for an early spring one or the August one if I have to wait that long. I am going to do it because I can run. I am now a little more thankful (ok, a lot more thankful) for the ability to run. It is a gift. I need to remember that.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
10k today was a failure
I figured that I have done a 10k a few times before so why not try it today. I did 5 miles last weekend so I figured I could do a 10k. I barely made it 5k. I had to walk the 5th-6th kilometer. I ran again at 6k to 8k, but then knee pain hit and I figured I should stop. I tried running again at 9k, but the knee pain was too bad by that point. I just could not. I am very disappointed.
I talked to my neighbor today about the soreness I continue to have in my thighs each day even though aside from my am workouts (which I have been too tired to do daily--I am lucky to get 3 in a week) I do 30 squats and lunges a day. My thighs this week particularly have just not recovered at all. They were still sore up until yesterday. I did about 10 squats yesterday and no lunges and none of either today. He said, and he would know, that this kind of soreness is usually nutrition related. He mentioned protein. I do not believe that there is an issue there, but maybe I will eat a few more servings of protein. I believe that the issue may be more iron related. With the heavy periods I have been having, I do not think that it is much of stretch to say that I might have iron deficient anemia. I actually have a lot of the symptoms which is funny because I thought those symptoms were due to estrogen dominance. They still could be. Without true hormone and hemoglobin tests who really knows. Apparently, though, a lot of women who have estrogen dominant problems have issues with anemia due to the "flooding" some experience. I experience the "flooding" each month and have for about 4 months now. It is getting better, but it is still VERY heavy. I also changed our diet from a lot of red meat to chicken due to my hubby's cholesterol problem. That is a recent change that could affect my iron levels. Here is to eating more spinach and beans. Thank goodness I like them!!!
Well, the secret reason why I wanted to test myself on the 10k is because I am seriously considering doing a half marathon in 9 weeks. With today's failed run, I have serious reservations now. I never challenge myself. I want to challenge myself. Every day at work is a challenge, but that is different... I want a real physical challenge. I was never an athlete. I will likely never be one, but I can run and like to run so why not challenge myself in that arena I figure. I do not know what to do....time will tell, I guess. I have another 2 weeks to decide...
I talked to my neighbor today about the soreness I continue to have in my thighs each day even though aside from my am workouts (which I have been too tired to do daily--I am lucky to get 3 in a week) I do 30 squats and lunges a day. My thighs this week particularly have just not recovered at all. They were still sore up until yesterday. I did about 10 squats yesterday and no lunges and none of either today. He said, and he would know, that this kind of soreness is usually nutrition related. He mentioned protein. I do not believe that there is an issue there, but maybe I will eat a few more servings of protein. I believe that the issue may be more iron related. With the heavy periods I have been having, I do not think that it is much of stretch to say that I might have iron deficient anemia. I actually have a lot of the symptoms which is funny because I thought those symptoms were due to estrogen dominance. They still could be. Without true hormone and hemoglobin tests who really knows. Apparently, though, a lot of women who have estrogen dominant problems have issues with anemia due to the "flooding" some experience. I experience the "flooding" each month and have for about 4 months now. It is getting better, but it is still VERY heavy. I also changed our diet from a lot of red meat to chicken due to my hubby's cholesterol problem. That is a recent change that could affect my iron levels. Here is to eating more spinach and beans. Thank goodness I like them!!!
Well, the secret reason why I wanted to test myself on the 10k is because I am seriously considering doing a half marathon in 9 weeks. With today's failed run, I have serious reservations now. I never challenge myself. I want to challenge myself. Every day at work is a challenge, but that is different... I want a real physical challenge. I was never an athlete. I will likely never be one, but I can run and like to run so why not challenge myself in that arena I figure. I do not know what to do....time will tell, I guess. I have another 2 weeks to decide...
Friday, September 10, 2010
Always get a litte depressed
I am very bummed not to be at the Nationwide race tonight. I always get a little sad over the September race. Why? Because it is like the close of the nice, summery weather for me. The spring race is the start of that weather and then the September race is the end. That is probably why I prefer the spring race... So I now have depression on depression. Not a good combo. I have felt very dissatisfied lately. I am just not satisfied with my life. I started to really evaluate a lot of thing in it trying to figure out how to fix it or what I could do to change it. The heart of it is that the dissatisfaction really lies with me. I am not happy with myself. That starts to bleed out into other things, of course, so I have to stop the bleeding where it starts. Will breast implants fix the bleeding? Will losing another 15 pounds do so? There is always something a woman wants to fix so where do I start and then where do I end? It is a bit frustrating too because here my husband gets better looking with age, and I just look older. I do not know the answer but I wish I did. Part of me wonders if this really is just the winter blues coming on early or if I really have an issue with myself. I hate to hear everyone talk about how wonderful fall is. It burns my tail. Oh yes, it is great. It is 55 in the am so you have to wear long sleeves or a sweater, but by noon, it is over 80 so you are sweating. The leaves start dying. Sorry, any season associated with death just does not sound appealing to me, but that is just me. Fresh fruit is not so fresh and not so good. Our bodies start storing fat more and our brains make us eat more in order to store more fat in preparation for the winter cold. The days get shorter fast. What is so freaking great about the fall?? In my view the only two good things are pomegranates and Halloween and even Halloween has a minus because it makes us fat and sugar addicted. I try to find a few things for which I am grateful each day. The fall makes it tough, but I will try for at least three today...1. Pomegranates. I bought my first two of the season today. 2. A magical moment where I learned how brilliant my son really is. I knew he was smart, but he is way smarter than I thought. 3. Moments of peace and quiet with my sexy husband. (I'll even go for four today.) 4. Firmer thigh. I have always hated my thighs. Now not so much. They are really changing shape.
Perhaps it is just the early beginnings of the winter blues after all....Here is to a warm fall and a short, mild winter!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Perhaps it is just the early beginnings of the winter blues after all....Here is to a warm fall and a short, mild winter!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, September 5, 2010
My son
Yesterday's log was about my daughter so I only feel that it is fair to talk about my son today. He is pretty amazing too, but in a different way. He is smart in his own right, but it is his sensitivity that makes him exceptional. He will not be a wimp...he is not that sensitive, but he pretty in touch with the feelings of others. He always has been even at a young age. He is a lot like me in a lot of ways. He gets people. I have always felt that was a gift. It is a gift for him too. He will make a wonderful husband one day. Other kids are also drawn to Jackson. It is not an overt thing, but kids like him and like to be with him. At parties, he tends to shy away from other kids. My husband thinks it is because he is not very social. I think it is because he is more independent. My son is at daycare all day every day and the kids love him there. My son does not feel the need to be in the center because he often ends up that way at school. He is a pretty child too which I think is part of the reason why other kids are drawn to him. He will be a very good looking man, I believe. I have always said that my son will rule the world and my daughter will tell him how to do it. It is very true.
Tiredness has kicked in. I did not want to get out of bed this am. I am tired and in need of rest. I am hoping to get a nap in today...
Tiredness has kicked in. I did not want to get out of bed this am. I am tired and in need of rest. I am hoping to get a nap in today...
Saturday, September 4, 2010
My daughter
I think she finally did it. She has given up paci's. We will see if it sticks, but the "paci fairy" came and left a pool for the kids to play in. My daughter did ask for a paci when we came in the house for lunch as she crawled up on the couch and under a blanket to get warm, but when I told her to remember that the paci fairy came and took them, she seemed ok with that.
I ran 5 miles this am. I ran to my boss's house and back. The last 4 miles were very tough, but I did it. I got through it. I had a stitch in my right side and some female issues going on, but I got through it. I kept telling myself it was a choice, and I choose to keep running....I hit 141.1 this am. So freaking frustrating. I would just like to see 140 point something. It would give me such a boost. Well, not as big of a boost as seeing 139 even if it is 139.9, but still. 140 point anything would be great. I always gain a pound or two over the weekend (and then work it off and then a few ounces over the week) so I doubt I will see it tomorrow. I am still trying to be REALLY careful today just in case I might see it tomorrow. I just always eat so much better during the week. Maybe if I run 5 miles again tomorrow....do not think that will happen, but then again, I did not expect to run to my boss's house and back this am. I just got it in my head this am and it stuck.
My daughter is amazing. I know that I say that all of the time, but it is true. She is beautiful and brilliant. I hope the beauty sticks. The brilliance will. She definitely got the best of the brains of my husband and I. I forget she is two sometimes. I know people see my kids together and think that I had them back to back. They are 22 months apart in reality. My son is large too, but not like she is. I tell them that one day I will be the smallest person in the family depsite being 5 ft 7 inches tall. I believe that is true. Both kids will grow larger than I am one day. My son for sure, but I believe my daughter will too. She is a large two year old. My son is a large 4 year old too.
I ran 5 miles this am. I ran to my boss's house and back. The last 4 miles were very tough, but I did it. I got through it. I had a stitch in my right side and some female issues going on, but I got through it. I kept telling myself it was a choice, and I choose to keep running....I hit 141.1 this am. So freaking frustrating. I would just like to see 140 point something. It would give me such a boost. Well, not as big of a boost as seeing 139 even if it is 139.9, but still. 140 point anything would be great. I always gain a pound or two over the weekend (and then work it off and then a few ounces over the week) so I doubt I will see it tomorrow. I am still trying to be REALLY careful today just in case I might see it tomorrow. I just always eat so much better during the week. Maybe if I run 5 miles again tomorrow....do not think that will happen, but then again, I did not expect to run to my boss's house and back this am. I just got it in my head this am and it stuck.
My daughter is amazing. I know that I say that all of the time, but it is true. She is beautiful and brilliant. I hope the beauty sticks. The brilliance will. She definitely got the best of the brains of my husband and I. I forget she is two sometimes. I know people see my kids together and think that I had them back to back. They are 22 months apart in reality. My son is large too, but not like she is. I tell them that one day I will be the smallest person in the family depsite being 5 ft 7 inches tall. I believe that is true. Both kids will grow larger than I am one day. My son for sure, but I believe my daughter will too. She is a large two year old. My son is a large 4 year old too.
Friday, September 3, 2010
My karma is upside down
I am not sure what I have done, but I have had the worst karma this week. Every other day I have had a major disaster at work and then on the days in between, minor problems. I am starting to wonder what I did. I feel like I need to burn some herbs or something to release the bad karma. I ran over a squirrel last week. I had a choice. I could either slam on my brakes with both kids in the car or hit it. I honestly thought it was going to retreat too so I chose not to slam on my brakes. I am pretty sure I hit it and killed it and am now left wondering if that is the reason for my karma.
I am ready The Gift of Fear right now. It pretty much justifies how I feel on a daily basis. I am equally leery about everyone. My husband always mocks me for it, but the author claims that I am right to be leery, and that despite popular beliefs, there are no safe places in the US for women. I am going to make sure that my children are protected. That is my main reason for reading this book and the other book I got, Protecting the Gift. The statistic is that 3 out of 4 women will be affected by a violent crime at some point in their lives. How scary is that? Makes you want to be a man....
I hope my sister is ok. She live on the sound north of the Outer Banks. I worry about flooding for her beautiful house. She said yesterday that the kids were excited about being able to swim and tube down the streets. I am more worried about her house. Hopefully they will be ok.
I feel like I have made better choices all. I went to the gym Tu-Fri of this week and have not had one screaming match with the kids. I have managed to be a calm parent even when situations were frustrating. I think my kids are happier and calmer too because of it. It just makes for a happier family all around.
I am ready The Gift of Fear right now. It pretty much justifies how I feel on a daily basis. I am equally leery about everyone. My husband always mocks me for it, but the author claims that I am right to be leery, and that despite popular beliefs, there are no safe places in the US for women. I am going to make sure that my children are protected. That is my main reason for reading this book and the other book I got, Protecting the Gift. The statistic is that 3 out of 4 women will be affected by a violent crime at some point in their lives. How scary is that? Makes you want to be a man....
I hope my sister is ok. She live on the sound north of the Outer Banks. I worry about flooding for her beautiful house. She said yesterday that the kids were excited about being able to swim and tube down the streets. I am more worried about her house. Hopefully they will be ok.
I feel like I have made better choices all. I went to the gym Tu-Fri of this week and have not had one screaming match with the kids. I have managed to be a calm parent even when situations were frustrating. I think my kids are happier and calmer too because of it. It just makes for a happier family all around.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Happy September 1
I did not meet my goal for Sept, but I am determined to meet this month's goal which is now a bit loftier since I did not meet August's. September always depresses me a little. This year I am determined to face it with excitement and not be depressed.
I realized the other day as I yelled at my two year old daughter because she refused to go to the restroom before bed that I am totally failing in my determination not to yell at my children. Do not get me wrong, I am a firm believer in discipline and consequences, but yelling should not be a consequence or a punishment. When my son yells at me, I need to take responsibility for that behaviour. I do not want to be that mom. I am better than that and should be better than that. I have spent the last two days working on it. I have done pretty well and hope to continue. Every time I want to yell, I just think what is the big deal. So what. She goes to bed 10 minutes later or he gets 2 more minutes of playtime. Ultimately both kids are good kids and listen for the most part. I tend to face life the same way I deal with my kids. I lose patience and get frustrated easily when honestly I should just ask myself what the big deal is. I find people, myself included, spend so much time being annoyed and wanting things to be different or a situation to be different or to be right in general that we no longer enjoy any moments in life. Everything is bland then and each day has way too many downs. It takes a lot of ups to continually fight that many downs especially when most downs are self imposed. I do not want to be that person. I have a choice is what I feel. I can choose to be different. All of that easy goingness that my husband talked about months ago has washed away, and frankly whatever made it disappear is not worth it. Frankly, I want it back, and I have that choice. It is on me.
I made that choice this am. I did not want to go to the gym. Between my son waking up from a nightmare at 11:45p, my hubby waking me up at 12:45a and then just waking up at 1:55a, I was exhausted this am, but I had a choice at 4:35a. I could get up and go to the gym and feel better that my day started well and productive and that I was taking care of myself or I could go back to sleep and then beat myself up for the rest of the day. I choose to go to the gym. It was a good choice.
The fluff book I just finished reading is all about choices. It definitely gave me food for thought, though. I choose who I am and what I do. Today I choose to start my day off right which hopefully will translate into a better day.
I realized the other day as I yelled at my two year old daughter because she refused to go to the restroom before bed that I am totally failing in my determination not to yell at my children. Do not get me wrong, I am a firm believer in discipline and consequences, but yelling should not be a consequence or a punishment. When my son yells at me, I need to take responsibility for that behaviour. I do not want to be that mom. I am better than that and should be better than that. I have spent the last two days working on it. I have done pretty well and hope to continue. Every time I want to yell, I just think what is the big deal. So what. She goes to bed 10 minutes later or he gets 2 more minutes of playtime. Ultimately both kids are good kids and listen for the most part. I tend to face life the same way I deal with my kids. I lose patience and get frustrated easily when honestly I should just ask myself what the big deal is. I find people, myself included, spend so much time being annoyed and wanting things to be different or a situation to be different or to be right in general that we no longer enjoy any moments in life. Everything is bland then and each day has way too many downs. It takes a lot of ups to continually fight that many downs especially when most downs are self imposed. I do not want to be that person. I have a choice is what I feel. I can choose to be different. All of that easy goingness that my husband talked about months ago has washed away, and frankly whatever made it disappear is not worth it. Frankly, I want it back, and I have that choice. It is on me.
I made that choice this am. I did not want to go to the gym. Between my son waking up from a nightmare at 11:45p, my hubby waking me up at 12:45a and then just waking up at 1:55a, I was exhausted this am, but I had a choice at 4:35a. I could get up and go to the gym and feel better that my day started well and productive and that I was taking care of myself or I could go back to sleep and then beat myself up for the rest of the day. I choose to go to the gym. It was a good choice.
The fluff book I just finished reading is all about choices. It definitely gave me food for thought, though. I choose who I am and what I do. Today I choose to start my day off right which hopefully will translate into a better day.
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