Realized the true marathon for a runner and what it means

The true marathon for the runner is not the actual race.  It is the series of races and how you recover from each mentally, physically, and as a runner.  Saturday I did not run the race I wanted to or expected to run.  It stuck with me all day Sat and most of Sun.  Yesterday, I let it go a little bit.  Trying to recover mentally has been the hardest part.  I see these people who barely ever run and wonder how do they do so well.  I run rings around them as far as actual mileage goes.  So why are they so much faster and tougher in a race situation than I am.  Why?  I often think it is because I am weak which is laughable to most people who know me.  I think I am the only woman who gives birth to children sans drugs and does not complain.  I just get it done.  So why in a race am I slower and less able to adapt?  These are two questions, I struggle with now.  Today I was able to put it into perspective a bit.  It is not the race I need to worry about.  What I need to do is focus on those things I can change and work harder to fix those and work harder at the running.  I gave up on some big things in life and after that swore, I would never give up again and I refuse to give up on something that I love, and I truly love running.  I love it because it frees me.  It allows me to do something I never thought I would do in a million years and let's face it, part of it is that it is something no one in my family has ever really done.  It is mine.  All mine, well, in the scope of my family.  For me the marathon now is figuring out how to best adapt and recover from this race and focus on what I need to do to not feel disappointment again.  That is the true marathon of a runner.  I needed that 1 mile I ran today.  I ran it better than I ever have before.  It was just 1 mile, but that 1 mile reminded me that there is recovery in all aspects so on to the next mile, I go.