What is my "Why"

Jillian Michaels says that you need to figure out what your "why" is for why you want to be in shape. She said that having an external source is no good because you will not maintain it. That leaves me wondering, what is my "why?" I have been hitting the gym at 5am for over 2 years now and trust me, that is not easy to maintain day after day after day. I am in the best shape I have ever been in which only makes me want to get in better shape. Do you have any idea how good it is to feel your ab muscles when you put your hands on your hips? I am not even flexing then, but I can still feel them nice and hard. So what is my "why?"
I want to wear a bikini and feel sexy and confident. It is not an external thing at all. Sure do I want my hubby to drool over me in it? Of course, but it is how I feel about myself in it that matters. I wore a bikini last summer and felt ok in it. I want to feel great. I want to wear it and know that I rival most 18 year olds. I want to feel sexy and confident each and every day of my life whether or not I am wearing a burlap sack or a mini skirt and halter top. I want to feel sexy when I wear my old loose PJ's at night. It feels good to be fit and trim and be confident that when I walk in the room, I am confident in how I am carrying myself. The external stuff, well, that is just icing on the cake. It is all about how I feel about me. For me, there is a weight element which is very external. 128 pounds and I will be there, but I am noticing changes in my body that I love, love, love like the ab muscles on the sides. That is my why.