Think we all know change is hard

Which is why we all struggle with it. It is so hard to change patterns and natural inclinations. In the last few days I have had to really think about why I am so critical of my hubby.  I am so critical.  How many times will the words "always" or "never" come out of my mouth in regard to something negative with him. It comes out a lot.  We have had a lot of problems over the last 18-20 months and I have to accept a certain amount of responsibility for that.  I feel so bad. I want to be greatest cheerleader, not his biggest critic. How do we fall into those patterns as spouses?  Do we head there or does it just happen?  Am I naturally inclined for that?  I love him more than anyone so why am I so critical.  I grew up under the pressure of perfection so I know what a myth that is. Do I just feel that pressure still so I have to project it on someone else?  How awful that must have been for him.  It disturbs me.  At this point, I think we both just want peace.