Does something you did 17 years ago matter?

These and other questions go through my mind every now and then.  I was watching a Dr. Phil as I ran today and the issues going on is inconsequential to this blog, but the gentleman in the story said that he is the same person he was when they met.  Keep in mind they met as he got out of college.  I know I am not the same person.  How could I be?  I have found a career and become a mother.  How could I possibly be the same person I was at 23?  My husband and I met in college.  We were 19 and did all of the stupid things 19 year olds do when they are in love and believe it will last forever.  My hubby and I have always said that if you get married young which we did, you have to grow up together or it will not last.  I remember my father years ago when I asked him a question, I will not repeat here, told me that he did not think my hubby and I would ever end up divorced because we are too compatible.  I am firm believer that the main reason we have been able to grow up together and weather some of the things we have in the last 17 years, well, it is because at the base of our relationship lies a very deep and meaningful friendship.  I worried for years as I started to change and find my way towards the person I am now if that meant we were boring and not exciting and how would we last if we were boring.  I do not worry about that these days.  We have fun together and even though, we think very much the same way, our relationship is more complimentary than anything else and we are rarely bored.  What I find amazing is that through the last years (at least for me) a deep love has not replaced but covered and taken over that deep friendship.  The friendship is still the root of our relationship, but I love my husband more than ever.  If I can honestly say that after 17 years of being together, I am relieved and happy. 
So what we do in our youth matters for sure but it is how we grow that really sets the tone for our lives.  There is someone in my family who has not grown.  He seems stagnate in his youth.  He is an adult almost as old as I am, but for some reason, he cannot grow past this late teens.  I had a very tumultuous childhood.  There are a lot of deep scars there, some that will never be repaired, but I forgive my mother.  I may talk about how much thing hurt (not with her,) but I understand that she did the best she could in her craziness.  I held so much against my sister for so long.  Lordy, it colored our relationship and the most freeing thing I ever did was forgive her and let it go and realize that she was a partner in our messed up youth with me and hurt in ways different from me, but still just as significant.  I do not remember when or how I came to that point with her, but when I did and realized it, I felt different and happy and was able to move and find my own identity and know that the identity I have mattered if to no one else, then at least to me.  My life has never been easy or uncomplicated.  Every emotion I have is complicated by something else so I get feeling hurt and confused all of the time.  I do.  What I wish for him is to find some help because he cannot move forward on his own until he does.  That is clear.  He is bent on hurting his family so he feels better and I can speak from experience when I say that the satisfaction from hurting your family is fleeting.  It does not last, and it will not fix the emotions that creep in on a regular basis.  I hope he find some help so he can move and not make what will be a huge mistake at this time.  Maybe in the future, it is the right thing, but when you are hurting, big decisions and changes are never the right thing.  I had a wonderful, patient hubby who supported me through 5 years of working through some of those complications.  I am not sure he has the same support. 
On a side note, I pray to God that the scared 5 year old sitting in a bunker with a 65 year old stranger is released immediately.  This story has shaken me to the core.  I look at my son and daughter and hope I can in some cosmic way send strength to his mother.  I am sure all mothers do at this time.
10 miles in today.  As I fight this illness and the stress of the last 4 weeks, I am happy I was able to get in the 10 miles today considering that yesterday I was not able to row and the day before, I had to cut my 4 miles short and just muscle through a 5k as best I could and that was tough.  I am on the mend and hope with the stress of work going away slowly, I am able to physically heal and recharge.
Go Ravens!