I am not the best mom in the world, but I am not the worst either. My wonderful son just gave me a heart attack. Nothing like taking his temperature when he is sick and just getting a "hi" reading on the thermometer. When I finally got a reading, I got 106. I know it is just his body's reaction to fight whatever is invading his little body and all, but it really freaked me out. I love him. I don't want anything to happen to him. I just want to make him better now! It is not about work or staying home with him. I just want him better.
The last few weeks have been very trying. I felt like I was on the verge of a nervous break down on Friday. The day picked up quite a bit when I got home, though. I actually believe that things will be ok this time. I really do. I feel better and more fit now than ever. I hit 132 last week so that is a move in the right direction. I need to get my eating under control today, but I am around food more today than normal and seriously stressed.
I talked with my mom over the weekend. HUGE mistake. The more I let go of my bitterness that I carried in the same manner she did, the more I want to scream at her over her bitterness. If there is one thing I have learned over the last year, holding onto bitterness is not a way to live because it is not living. Keeping score is not a way to live. All that doing that does for you, is hold you back from life. Who wants to live like that. I want to immerse myself in life and breathe it in and enjoy it and live it. Life is too short for sure!
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