New Year, New You

One of our stations is doing a campaign titled "New Year, New You."  I get it.  It is a new year after all and most of us plan to make big changes, but the campaign just seems so cliche to me.  There is nothing wrong with that, but I plan to make changes year round to become the new me.  It is an exercise we all face daily if we want to become different people, right?  So who I do want to be in 2013?  I want to be a better version of me.  I want to treat my husband the way he deserves to be treated and that means letting go of the some of the hurt and forgiving and moving on together.  (Yes, Hubby, I know that I have to do those things too.  I have work too.)  I want to be a fun loving, balanced mom, one who will show my daughter what it means to be a confident, strong woman and one who will show my son how he will treat the future women in his life.  I want to move more into the finance side of work and help my boss to make good decisions by having the knowledge he needs to make those decisions.  I want to take part in giving those pieces of information.  I want to help him make the company the best it has ever been.  I want to be a better runner and a marathoner.  I signed up for a marathon in November so I just need to work on running farther faster.  I want to be a great friend to the two most wonderful women I know.  I want to do things with them and have fun and laugh with them and be relaxed.  I want to lost 14 pounds to finally get to my goal weight, a weight that will finally satisfy me and also help carry me to my goal of running faster.  I want to love more and deeper than I have ever loved and I want to be able to judge less and truly care more which means letting go of some of my insecurities--not just the superficial ones, but the ones that run way deeper than that. 
Yesterday I felt more on the line to do all of these things.  I do not know what the turning point was yesterday, but I feel more prepared to quiet the voices in my head and tell them to go to hell and let it go.  I feel more prepared to walk by that piece of chocolate and more prepared to make brownies but not even eat one. 
In one of latest books I read, the main character is told by her family that she will "ruin her life" by giving up being an attorney.  She says later that she learns that it is really tough to ruin your life because life is pretty resilient.  Talk about a good lesson for all of us.  So what if we do not get the best job or get into the best college or are not the prettiest or smartest girl in class.  We all have the choice to have a great life and make our lives matter.  We cannot expect them to matter to anyone else.  We have to be important to ourselves and have our lives matter to us.  Celebrities have to have their lives matter to others.  I do not see a lot of them truly happy.  That tells me something.  I am tired of waiting for an event and a moment where this life matters.  I think every moment matters so I want to enjoy every moment and not wait for some event to make me enjoy that day.  Today is January 5th and I hate January.   Lord knows how I get through the winter months...  But I have a choice to hate today and be bitter it is cold or I can choose to enjoy today.  It is a choice.  I hope I make the right one. It is a battle for sure for all of us.  We will see how the day goes....