Confused

Confusion has set in about so many things in the last 24 hours...serious confusion.  Nothing seems right or straight in my mind right now.  First of all, I am getting really tired of folks telling me that I should be happy that I finished the half marathon and that my time was decent.  That was NOT THE RACE I WANTED to run.  I am tired of hearing it.  I am not happy, and I will not be happy with that time.  I am sore today.  That depresses me.  Why am I sore?  I have run for 2 hours many, many times.  Why was this time different?  I feel like my body is failing me again.  That confuses me.  I want more than anything to do a half marathon again to get a better time, but I am afraid.  What if it is worse?  What if it is cold that day?  I did this weekend's race in the rain.  That was bad enough and unfriendly enough.  What if I sign up to do the next half in the area and it is cold and rainy?  How do I deal with this disappointment? 
I am confused about my family and the anger that I has been brought out by this latest situation with their drama.  I am so angry with my mother that I want to scream, just scream at her.  The worst part of all of this is that I feel so alone right now.  It's just me trying to figure it all out, and I am not sure what to do.