Taken me 36 years

to figure out who I am and who I want to be.  Is that normal?  I was never given a voice growing up.  I was told what to do, when to do it and how to do it.  It is funny how that works and impacts those like me.  Now, I am an adult with all of these choices and many obligations too, of course.  I think that is why young adulthood was so confusing for me.  Here are choices that I was never used to having and I had a mother who still very much wanted to direct my life.  See here I am at 36 finally see who I am and who I want to be and figuring out the best way to achieve that person I want to be.  I told my hubby one day that I want to be fabulous.  Am I there?  No.  I am on my way in my own sense.  So today who am I? 
1.  I am a mom with two great children that I adore and admire.
2.  I am a wife who loves her hubby more than anything.
3.  I am a business woman who loves her job and industry and goes to work every day feeling incredibly lucky to work with those that I do.  I have the best staff in the world.  Together we can do anything.
4.  I am a gardener.  My blogs on jardale pumpkins prove that.  I am growing pumpkins again this year.  No jardales, but we have some other varieties.  My roma tomatoes are looking good already.
5.  I am a runner.  Feels so weird to say that, but I think when you hit 20 miles +  a week, you are there.  I am there.  I love the freedom I feel from it.  It gives me time in my head to allow my mind to just wander around.  I feel lighter mentally and physically when I get those long runs in.  Running truly brings me joy.
6.  I am a friend.  I am very lucky to have two very good friends and a handful of good friends at my gym.  Those of us who work out first thing in the am are a bunch of freaks, no doubt, but we are there for our own purpose and we are a tight group.  Those people, even those I do not talk to--we just wave to each other, are important to me and make me feel like I am part of a community.  My two very good friends are both wonderful, strong women that I admire and trust.  It took me 35 years to have true adult girlfriends.  I am now lucky to have two.
7.  I am a sister.  My sister and I have reconnected through my nephew's difficulties.  I love her.  She is a wonderful, vivacious woman.  I have forgotten that over time.  I do thank my nephew for allowing me to rediscover that in her.
8.  I am a daughter, in my own way.  I still seek my mother's approval.  I always will, but as an adult, I plan to keep our relationship away from the drama.  There is no need for it and I will not allow myself to be brought down by it.
9.  I am someone who loves the beach.  I missed it from my youth.  Growing up there was special and I realize that so much now.  Lordy, how lucky was I to spend so much time there growing up?  I never appreciated it until now.  I love the smell, the laid back nature, and the freedom it affords.  I love to step in the sand and soak up the sun and just be me in that time.  My hubby says he loves Beach Tif, as he puts it.  Beach Tif is the person I want to be all of the time.  I admire her.  She has her obligations but is free of the BS I carry around most of the time.  She feels young and is confident and finds joy in life, something I struggle with sometimes.  I have 60 more years to find her all of the time.