Pretty Depressed.

I thought for sure I was going to ovulate this month. Looks like the same thing that has been happening for the last two months happened again. It looked like I was going to surge and then no surge. I got close to that "dark as" line on an ovulation test, but then it went away at the next check. I tested 7 hours after the almost as dark as for those of you who might tell me that I missed seeing the surge. I do not know what is wrong with me, but I am thoroughly depressed. I just want to have normal hormones. I wonder if I am being punished for something if that is why I am having such issues. I have always had weird cycles, but I always ovulate when I am off the pill. I just want this imbalance to be fixed and fixed yesterday. I just want to be a normal 34 year old woman. Not a woman going through peri-menopause at 34. That just makes me feel old. Not sure where to go from here. Doc wants me to use progesterone cream on days 16-22. Will that really help? Or will it just mask the problem of not ovulating. I do not know what to do. I am so confused and worried. Worried about my body aging well ahead of its time.
My hubby is depressed too. He got his physical results back. His bad cholesterol is high. I think we eat too much red meat. I think that will help. I want him to be around for a long time. As I told him tonight, when I got married it was so I could be married for 50-60 years not 20-30 so he had better plan on sticking around for a while. We were 23 when we got married so you can do the math on that.
Just feeling down. I felt so good this am when I thought I was going to ovulate for sure. My only hope is that I somehow missed the surge marker and saw the end of it this am when I tested and got the almost as dark as line. I will know if my temp rises tomorrow. Yes, I am temping. That is the odd thing. My temp went up .5 degrees two days ago. By that increase, it means I could have ovulated two days ago, but I know I did not. Not even close to a second line was detected on the ovulation test. I just want to be normal. So frustrated.