The universe is telling me something, I think

I just have yet to figure out what the hell it is.  I keep wondering how I ended up here.  How did I end up here?  I am a blame person and a self blame person at that so it has to be my fault, right?  I did this.  Did I make it too easy?  Do I spoil those around me by being the "yes, I will take care of it girl" and always accommodating everyone else at all costs to myself?  I come from folks who say things like "trudge on" or "keep going" or "it will make you stronger."  That is all fine and dandy, but that does not allow you the moment to stop and judge if this what you really want or if this is what is really best for your heart, soul, and even health.  What does it say that every now and then I have the urge to chuck myself down the stairs so I can rest in a hospital for a week?  I keep telling myself that I have come too far to go back but when is enough!