Friday, December 17, 2010

Little less than a month now

I have 26 days or something like that until surgery. I get more excited by the day. I actually contemplated canceling my surgery last week. (Long story.) It was during that time that I learned how much I really want to get this done. Thinking about canceling it seriously moved me to tears. I really want this. I need this. I want to feel young and sexy. I feel old and flat instead. I am worried about the kids during my recovery, though. Maybe this surgery will complete my 1/3 life crisis and I will be through it. Just hoping that I do not decide on a tummy tuck later.
I hate my scale. I weighed myself this am and it was 134.7. Then about 10 minutes later it was 136 so I moved it around and the weight varied, of course. I just need have a scale that does not change so I really know if I am losing weight. I figure that my weight is somewhere around 135 right now because the scale stayed around that (a few tenths under or over) as I moved it. So frustrating.
I am very much looking forward to the spring already. I will start my countdown after my surgery. We got snow yesterday. We actually got some earlier this week too, but yesterday's was more significant. I got to shove the driveway which is seriously one of my favorite things to do. I love shoveling snow. It was much more fun when we had a foot of snow last year. Yesterday's 3 inches was not as fun. I thoroughly enjoyed it, though.
I always get a little sad around the holidays. I can never figure out why. I think sometimes it has more to do with winter in general, but my favorite and least favorite day of the year is coming up, Dec 22. After that day, the days start to get longer which is a good thing!

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