Weird workout am

I go to the gym. I am doing well on the elliptical ski machine whatever it is called. I go to run and the treadmill is not working so I left the gym. All of the other treadmills were taken (product of it getting lighter later I believe.) The rotating stairs were all taken too. I wanted to stay but honestly I could not face doing more elliptical and I really wanted to run. I came home and did some weights and push ups. I really want to fit into this dress that I bought for this weekend's dinner. Right now it fits like a glove which I like, but I would also like to be able to sit down while wearing it and that is not going to happen as it is now.
I need to talk to my husband about something without him getting all mad. I am honestly not 100% sure how that is going to go. Once he gets wind of the topic, he usually gets all worked up and everything and immediately dismisses my concerns or just throws his hands up and says, "Fine I will not do it." I wrote the blog the other day about how I feel rushed all of the time. He commented that he agreed and now he plans to add two more things into that feeling of being rushed....just silly, but what do I know. I am an expert on packing as much into 24 hours as I can, but like I said, what the hell do I know.
I am feeling bad about my body again. I am thinner than I have been since my junior year of high school, but these bad feelings keep creeping in. When I look at myself naked in the mirror all I see if the flab around my middle and on my thighs. I was surprised to see that my thighs at worst are a half an inch smaller than when I measured in May. The same thing happened with my hips, but that did not make me feel any better. I feel like all that I see is flabby skin. It depresses me a bit as hard as I work out...well, on those days that I do not bolt out of the gym. SO mad about that. If it were not so dark at 5:40am, I would have run outside. I love running. I did not realize how much I missed it until I started running regularly again. It was those long distances that were killing me. It was fun and challenging to see how far I could go, but it made me hate running which was a shame because I really enjoy it. I'll never run a marathon, but I can do 5 or 10k's on occasion. I am going to do an 8k this fall. It is a pretty hilly route, but I think I can handle it.
So tired all of the time. I am relieved that I get a break this weekend from the kids. I still will not sleep in on Saturday. I will definitely get up to run probably at the gym as dark as it is that early in the day, but it will be nice to be able to get back in bed with my husband without worrying about kids and also not have that stress of getting everyone up and out the door for breakfast. Next weekend we have my daughter alone. I look forward to that too. I enjoy special time with her like that. She revels in it too. It will be nice to take her to dinner and breakfast alone and just spend time paying attention to her. I wish that I was able to do that with my son sometimes, but he is older so he gets the special treats out a little more than she.