Today started off weird

I like my schedule where I get up at 4:35a rather than 4:40. I feel less rushed when trying to get to the gym. I have made it more than normal this week. I was ready to get there today when I heard some commotion on our back porch. I turn on the light and see Beckham, our cat, looking at me. I figure she scared off some animal and think no big deal. I am getting ready to leave and I hear it again. I look out and she has a possum cornered on the porch. I proceed to spend the next 20 minutes trying to get the possum off of the porch which include coaxing her inside. (She is very fearful in general so once I got her in, she walked around crying.) It just started my day off in a weird manner. I definitely could have made my way to the gym after that, but I hate going late and frankly figured that the whole debacle was a sign to just stay home and read or get some work done so I did. I wanted to run today, but I would have felt rushed and I hate feeling rushed. I feel like I spend my whole life feeling rushed. Missing today will not kill me. I still have Fri-Su. As long as I work out 5 days a week I feel good. I need to really work on my diet. I really want to wear the skin tight dress I bought a few weeks ago. It is strapless and fits like a glove, a too tight one right now. It would look really good if I could lose a few pounds. It is almost there. I am eating too many nuts. This period this month really bloated me which is not helping the matter. I am trying to eat well to make up for it. The salt on the damn nuts are killing me.
I find myself getting depressed a bit early this year. I am alwys depressed when the fall comes because it means that winter is not far behind, but this year, I find myself getting depressed early. We still have several weeks of summer left, but fall and winter just seem so close. Maybe it is because I am up at 5a so I know that the sunrise is well after 6a now rather than the 5:30a it rose at the height of summer. I do not know, but I know that I hate feeling this way.
I realized over the course of the last few weeks that my hubby and I do not talk. Yes, we talk to each other, but we do not have discussions about things that matter. When I bring up something important that needs to be discussed or that I need to work through with myself or my family, it just gets shoved under the carpet. I brought up something yesterday and there was a brief discussion, and then sure enough, nothing else on it. The issue is still unresolved. It is a heavy burden to have to take on the stress of the entire family alone while trying to keep my own head afloat with my own issues, and since I have no clue what the hell is wrong with me, that is stressful enough. My period was similar to last month with a light first day, extremely heavy second day, and then a light third day. Today is the fourth day and if it is like last month, it will be light, I will have one more day of light bleeding, and then it will be gone. The only change is that yesterday was light bleeding versus the spitting I was getting on day 3 last month. Do not know if that means that anything is getting better or not. My temp was off today too. My low temp pre-ovulation is always 96.8. Today it was 97.18 which is strange. I do not think I ovulated--although it is not unheard of for women to ovulate during their period, and Lord knows how messed up my cycles are. I just want to be normal and have normal periods. My body is off and I just want to know how off or sick it is, how to fix it, and if it is something that has larger implications than just my period.
I still do not know what to do about my son's cavities. Do I let them sedate him to fill them? A child died her last spring while getting a similar procedure. The airwy seems to be the issue. My son could have airway issues. My hubby thinks it is "cute" when my son clears his throat. I do not think it is cute or ironic or think that it is because my son is trying to get our attention. He does it too often and too many times in a row mid conversation for that. I think that there is something going on there. That worries me even more. So easy to be a dad. Such a burden to be a mom and spend every moment of your life racking your brain to make the best decisions for your family to protect everyone. It is exhausting. No wonder I am so tired all of the time...