Estrogen depression?

I kind of wonder now.  I feel like a different person.  Maybe it is because a lot of extraneous pieces of my life are coming together.  (Ok, pieces that seemed extraneous.)  I do not know.  Part of me thinks that the estrogen dominance was causing some problems.  The running was phenomenal today, well, for me anyways.  I did 8 with no problem and my last three miles got faster and faster.  My last mile was a 9:17 pace.  I feel great.  The hubby and I are being really spontaneous these days in our general lives.  Maybe that is part of too.  We are no longer just sitting at home doing nothing.  We went to Nationals' game yesterday.  It was amazing and everything I thought it would be.  Keep in mind that this was after our trip to Philly last week.  We are just baseball crazy here! 
I started lifting weights and I love it!  It is not all that surprising.  I am not one who has ever shied away from a challenge.  I feel powerful when I do it which I like.  I am not sure that I am seeing any physical differences, but I am happy with it.  I hope to have the time to keep it up.  I want people to view me as powerful.  My whole life I spent my days I wanting to be viewed as though I needed protection because I am a woman.  Do we not tell our children that girls are weak and need protection.  My sister was weak due to cancer and she got all of the attention from everyone growing up so naturally the message I was given was to be weak and need help all of the time.  Models even send us the same message each day by being underweight and emaciated.  I do not want to look like that.  I want to look and be strong.  I saw a picture of myself from last summer.  I an in a two piece and while it is evident that I have had children, my body looks great.  I want that back and I want to look even better.  It should not be too hard.  Only a tad bit has been lost in the last 10 months.  So for now weights are my friend.  I am certainly enjoying them.  I just hope that I can find the time to keep with them.  So maybe a dream one day is to do a fitness contest.  Why not?  I am not sure that I have the courage to do it, but it is nice to dream.  I dreamed for years about losing weight and then I did it so maybe...
I sit here watching a baseball game.  How much I missed it. 
I want to thank my BFF for being patient and supportive during this last month when the running suffered.  She was ultra patient and never complained about walking.  Her support made all of the difference.  I was struggling both physically and emotionally.  It rocked my identity as a runner and so much of my personal identity is about running.  I could no longer see who I am.  I am back and better than I was before.  One of Runner's World quotes the other day was "Remember why you run not just today, but every day."  I think about that a lot.  I initially started running because I needed to lose some extra weight and it gives you a lot of bang for your buck!  Then I kept running because I liked what it did for my body and because I was always one of the least athletic girls in school.  I never ran the mile or anything like that.  Then I fell in love with it and a specific race in this wonderful little town that calls itself the center of the universe.  (I run it every year and will until I die.)  Then I met my BFF and with that, running became a large part of my identity.  Now it is a large part of who I am.  That is why it is the year to run the marathon.  I have been injured and I have now had performance anxiety in the running.  I have overcome both.  I am a runner and knowing that makes me happy and at peace.  The biggest challenge is to stay in a place where I love the running.  That is hard when you are running 15+ miles on a run, but I plan to be smarter this year.  I loved running today!  I loved every moment of it and the first hour flew on by!