Bad days

Do you ever have those days when you feel like things are spiraling out of control. For me it all stems from work right now. I am so overwhelmed that it is not even funny. Staff members out. Huge project going on. Vendor for that huge project not cooperating. Stuff keeps getting piled on more and more. I feel like I cannot breathe when I am at work. Just suffocating further and further. The worst part is that it completely affects my home life. I stopped working out which I need to do during this stretch. I finally got my lazy tail out of bed this am to work out, but I did not feel great after like I normally do. Some days I just want to call it all quits and become a stay-at-home mom, but the $ always gets me. Sure we could do it on one salary as a family, but while we do not live pretty extravagantly, we like to be able to buy stuff when we want to. I just hope it passes soon. My home life is amazing. My husband and I have totally reconnected like 20 year olds. It would be pretty sickening to my kids I imagine if they were old enough to get grossed out by their parents kissing and stuff. Maybe it is my one third life crisis that is helping us reconnect. It is just amazing, though, and I am so thankful for it. I started buying halter tops. Feel silly as a 34 year old wearing them initially. I also bought a halter top dress. It looks great, but would look better with less gravity has taken over and I nursed a kid breasts. Started seriously thinking about reconstruction and implants. Got to find the time. A two week recovery is standard. I have two small kids so I am not sure how likely that is. My mom would wonder about me too so I am not sure she would help us.
The worst, though. My cousin who I adore and think the world of was diagnosed with stomach cancer and melanoma. He is only 40. He is the second 40 or under who I know who has been diagnosed with serious cancer in the last 18 months. It scares the crap out of me. Why? I am 34. My husband is 33--just 5 days away from 34. It just reminds me that I may not be here forever. A co-worker died at 39 from cancer. Who has a one third life crisis at 13???? Am I a downer today or what.