Still no period. I am on day 46 of this cycle. The good news is that I have had no bleeding in almost 4 weeks. The bad news is that I am fearful of the period I will get once it comes, but I am without bleeding now so I am not complaining. I got off the wagon for a while and had a semi-normal diet. I gave up peanut butter for a week and it sent me into a spiral of crappy food. Come Friday am, of course, I was in pain in my stomach. Tough lesson, but a good reminder as I went to stuff a blondie in my mouth this am. I walked a good 8 miles yesterday and will walk another 7 today. Tomorrow is a 10 mile run and a 3 mile walk. I just have to remember to take it one mile at a time and picture Fister running with me. That does help! After all, he is known to run 10 miles per day so tomorrow I can imagine he is running with me.
I have thanked a few different people this summer and a whole little league team, but I have not thanked the one person who probably deserves it more than anyone else, my husband. Goodness know that I am not the easiest person to live with. It is more than that. This summer was a difficult and wonderful summer. This summer I toed the line of craziness and depression as my running motivation waned. I had such anxiety running after the half marathon in May and that depressed me. My hubby had to deal with that. Then he had to deal with the on/off and ongoing bleeding that raged all spring and summer. With the bleeding came hormonal ups and downs that were tough for me to weather. My hubby also financed our crazy summer of baseball game after baseball game and trip after trip. It was a wonderful and amazing summer of fun at the beach and the lovely city of Philadelphia that I love! We made it to two Nationals' games also. We had trips to Williamsburg too. It was a lovely and incredibly fun summer. I have him to thank for that. The other thing that I really want to thank him for is for loving me in a way that has allowed me grow and figure out what was squashed inside of me so long ago. I have found that person who I held inside for so long. I had not seen her in so long that I forgot she existed, but she does. With that realization, I get to merge the two things I love about myself, the person who understands responsibility and never shies away from it and the person who just wants to have fun and enjoy living. I forgot how fun just living can be. I tried to kill myself when I was 23. That is one of my dirty little secrets. Yes, I had the full intent to die. That is something I can never imagine now. There is so much left for me to do and enjoy. Life itself is fun and I do not want to miss a thing. So thank you, Hubby, for bringing that back to me. I would not be here without you.
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