Saturday, August 30, 2014

Sugar and Spice and well, things not so nice

I am progesterone challenged.  Estrogen, however, flows through me like the blood in my veins.  There is a lot of research on food and estrogen so I took the anti-estrogenic challenge and sure enough, well, maybe my estrogen is no lower, but I know that my progesterone is higher.  I have longer cycles and less bleeding in between those cycles.  Those changes are of huge importance to me, but the other changes are of a high magnitude too.  First, I rarely had zits growing up.  During the periods of high estrogen when it was spinning out of control, I pretty much had a recurring zit all of the time.  Every 3 weeks like clockwork, it would show up.  Now, it is gone!  My skin looks better than it did when I was 18 and it looked pretty good then.  I have fewer wrinkles in general.  My skin has that glow back.  I retain water a whole lot less.  I just feel better.  I feel more stable emotionally speaking.  The docs say that progesterone is the happy hormone.  I needed it desperately.  I truly believe, however, that is not just the hormones.  I really believe that these sugars we just accept as additives to our foods were part of the problem for me.  I am very careful now about added sugar.  Yes, I still eat fruit and know full well how much sugar is in each bite, but I am speaking specifically about the added sugars.  Almost everything including ketchup has sugar added in some form.  I know most peanut butters do too, but I have been on no sugar peanut butter for years now.  The sugary stuff is just too sweet now that I am used to just peanuts and a little salt.  All of that sugar was messing with me.  I occasionally have days where I have to revert back to sugary foods and the carb, flour laden food most of us eat (yes, I have given those up too for the most part) just from all of the traveling we have done this summer.  When I do have to eat a "normal" diet, I feel bad again and have hormonal ups and downs, and my stomach hurts for days.  Why the hell would I want to do that to myself when the simple answer is cut the added sugar and added grains.  Let me be clear, I am not all Paleo.  For me, those folks have it wrong too.  I eat one slice of bread a day (100% whole grain with no sugar added) and then I eat meat, veggies, fruit and legumes.  (The Paleo folks frown upon the legumes and slice of bread for sure!)  Maybe I justify the legumes and bread slice because of the running, but I do know with the distance running, I need the carbs.  It all works for me, and I like it.  I feel amazing, and let's be real.  That is a feeling I want for as many moments as I can get them for the rest of my life.  So for any hormonally challenged women out there, seriously, rethink the added sugar foods and the flour added carbs.  Yes, it is hard.  I see my kids eating Goldfish and I desperately want one, but not bleeding all month like I was before and feeling great and looking great are all worth it most moments of temptations. Not all...I am not perfect, but I am doing pretty well!  Last month's cycle was 23 days and I bled for 20 of them.  This month, I am now on day 39 with no bleeding in 3 weeks.  Yes, I know a 39 day cycle is not normal, but after bleeding so much over the last 2.5 years, it is a nice break that I welcome!
Not sure if it is the hormonal help or not, but I seem to have missed my normal end of summer depression this year.  I know it is only August 30, but normally it has kicked in by now.  Maybe we have been too busy and that is why or maybe the hormones helped or maybe I just have so many things to look forward to this fall and winter that I am ok with end of summer.  We have definitely stayed busy, and I have baseball back.  I will be sad when the season ends, but it really is such a short period of time from the end of the World Series until spring training starts and we have a lot going on in between so maybe it will not be so bad once the last game of the year closes.
I feel like I am finally coming into who I am supposed to be and find the things I am supposed to do. I just hate that it took me 38 years to get here.  I know most adults do not find themselves until they are 30-something, but I feel like it has taken me so much longer than most.  If I looked like this at 20 with the body I have now, I would have been dangerous.  So much time wasted, but I am working on not wasting another second now.  Life is too short to lament over lost time.  I just want to live life now.  Thankfully, I have a wonderful, brilliant and fantastic hubby to support me in that.  I support him too in that way.  For him, the sky is the limit.  I just wish that he believed that all of the time too.
I wanted to thank a 20 something yesterday who made me feel like I was 20 and the only thing that mattered at that moment.  For mothers my age, those moments are rare.  It was nice to be noticed.  I also want to thank a very kind, former professional baseball player who paid me a very nice compliment last night.  I left last night's game feeling good and happy and very much in love with my husband.  Hubby, I promise that we will figure it all out, how to break this vicious cycle.  I think we have made a lot of progress as it is. 
Hoping for post season tickets once the MLB season ends.  My fingers are crossed!  Go Nats!

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