Disappointment sets in

My run was awesome.  Ave pace was 9:33 per mile which is 11 seconds under my last two averages. I was feeling awesome.  Weather was low 60's and PERFECT.  About mile 8 I can feel my left IT band tightening.  First let me say that going into this run my right hamstring was tight so I knew that there would likely be some pulling on the left to make up for the right.  I had no clue it would hit my IT band.  I had to stop running at little short of mile 11 because the pain was getting unbearable and I know from past experience that you do not run through IT band pain.  I had to walk home.  I am so frustrated because I was killing it today and ready for a 2 and a half hour run.  I was even thinking maybe just maybe I could stretch to 3 hours the following week and maybe just maybe see if I could run/walk the full marathon in Nov.  Instead I am heading back to my primary care physician tomorrow in hopes that he sends me back to Jason, the best physical therapist I have ever known.  Jason got me through the last set of problems and got me running again.  I firmly believe he helped me mentally and physically run the last half marathon.  I just want to nip this problem before it really gets going and I end up with a slipped disk and in horrible pain again.  Jason can do that for me.  I am also frustrated because I am doing everything from previous physical therapy.  Maybe not every day but at least every other day.  I know I should stretch every day that I run.  Maybe that is what is missing?  I always do a long run on Fridays and Friday is my day off from stretching.  I guess that I need to change that.  I am semi freaking out.  What if this gets worse?  What if I cannot continue long runs through this?  I was just really finding my groove with the long runs.  It is not an easy feat to run for over 2 hours once a week.  It messes with your mind going into it. You start to dread that day of the long run and then you start to dread the evening prior.  Well, I had just overcome that.  I was excited to run last week and this week.  I was ready to face the challenge.  This am, I welcomed the challenge, and then this happened.  Of course I am disappointed.  I ran 8 miles on Friday.  I was finally starting to really feel like a runner, and I so want to be a runner.  I love running.  It frees me.  It frees my mind and my soul.  Lorraine Moller, a runner and winner in the 92 Olympics said that "running is my meditation, mind flush, cosmic telephone, mood elevator, and spiritual communion."  I don't know if every runner feels that way about running, but I do.  I especially identify with the meditation and mind flush part.  I work through so many problems when I am running.  I often get my best ideas when running.  Part of the reason I needed stress therapy last year was that my mind was too cluttered when running.  I could not work through a thing.  (Sorry my daughter is sitting here coloring and singing.  I might pee in my pants laughing it is so cute.)  So distracted now.  She is just going on and on...
Anyways, I need running and I need the long distances.  I need it for my mind and soul but also for my body.  Significant changes come with distance running.  Had I known that years ago, I would have ditched my regular 5k's and focused on the longer runs.  I don't want to lose those changes.  I love them.  I have lost about 5 pounds, but it is more than the weight.  It is the way I look.  I look longer and leaner and I finally have the bump out at the top of my thigh from the muscles there that I always wanted.  I absolutely do not want to lose that.  I am hoping Jason can fix me and if the doc does not want to send me to Jason, well, then I am hoping that his recommendation can fix what I have going on now.  I just know that I cannot and should not run through IT band problems.  So here I sit with a thermacare wrap on my left knee.  I will walk funny up and downstairs for a few days.  I just hope that my 8 mile run Sat goes well and I can make it through.  I plan to row this week anyways so hopefully that help my problem some.  Rowing seems to stretch out my back and legs which ultimately should help the IT.  Stupid IT band.  Best run in a long time and that thing has to ruin it.  I was killing it and at a 9:40 (even if I had slowed down at the end) I would have likely gone 15 miles before I stopped.  I was mentally and physically ready.  It was like all of the stars had aligned...well, all the stars but the one for my body anyways....