Tiffy V3

I always talk about the 3 people in my life, the person I used to be, the current me and the woman I see that I want to be.  I used to hate the person I used to be.  Now I feel sorry for her, but also care about her and honestly, want to take her with me wherever I got and give her the life she always deserved.  I see the person that I want to be and there are moments where I am her and I am happy and comfortable, but then she is gone just as quickly as she arrived.  I want 2013 to be the year she stays more often than not.  I want this to be the year of Tiffy V3.  I want to be that person.  I want her to live this life and hold V1 and V2 with her helping them to live the same life.  I have to make some serious changes and I have to fight those scary, horrifying thoughts that creep in my mind through any and every crack they can find.  Only I can work on that, and I know that, but it is hard work.  I need to work really hard.  Tomorrow is a fresh start for everyone.  The question for me is, can I find the strength to do it?  Can I actually do it?  My emotional eating is worse than it has been in years.  Can I learn to control that again?  Can I stop the negative back talk I give myself?  Can I stop being suspicious of everyone and everything including myself?  I do not know.  I just do not know.