Mental

I know running is part mental and part physical but for me running is truly based on the mental part.  I would say it is as high as 75-80%....maybe even more.  I was great today.  I was on fire.  I am sore now and will be sore tomorrow too, but I do not care.  It was worth it.  I knew going into the first few miles that I was feeling it, and it would be a good run. I freaking ran to the mall and back.  14.5 miles.  If I ran like this in races, I would kill it and beat every hope I have in running.  When the mental is right, I can fight back any pain that hits.  I can go and go and go despite pains.  The only pain I listen to in that state is the IT band because I know that will affect the running long term, but I had no IT band pain today.  Just calf tightness and muscle pains around the knees.  I had fun today.  I enjoyed it.  I got excited clicking off each mile rather than thinking, "Oh God...how do I keep going?"  That is what I think when I am fighting back the mental pain.  None of that entered my mind today.  I just kept going and going.  I wish I had more days like this.  I was happy that the fun in running today was back.  It was stressful during the period that it left.  I just wondered where it went and why I lost it and worried I would never get it back.  I am so glad that I got it back.  I feel ready to move into this next phase again, and I really want to move into this phase.  I hope this run I did today propels me into that time when it is all about the running and all about eating to help the running and all about just enjoying the running.  If I had been another mile from home today, I would have run it.  This is good. In order to get to the next level, I need to master the half marathon without feeling dead tired after.  I have to get to the next level. I signed up for the next level in Nov 2013.  I downloaded Whitney Houston's "One Moment in Time."  I love that it is on my playlist for running.  It totally fits.  As I listened to it running today, I imagined how it will feel to finish the marathon next Nov.  Talk about being something more than I ever thought I could be.  I never thought I would be a runner girl.  I would have bet someone a million dollars that would never have happened.  Here I am two halfs down and a half in June, a half in August, an 8 mile trail race in September and a full in November.  I typically run about 20-30 miles a week.  Who would ever think!  I am considering a 35k trail race.  I would love to work up to it.  Trail racing is where it is at!  It is the best feeling in the world.  So fun and enjoyable and so much satisfaction from the difficulty factor of it, but the best part is that you get the difficulty factor while you are totally distracted so it never really occurs to you how difficult it really is.  I just love it!  You get a serious runner's high. 
I feel like I am finally working on merging the person I am with the person I want to be.  That is a major part of the next phase I want to move into.  I want to be that woman.  Sometimes it is tough to remember that particularly when I am stressed or unhappy or feel like the world is falling apart, but today I am in touch with her.