The universe talking to me?

Apparently, I have vicarious traumatic stress disorder.  I love that everything has a name now.  I say that it is BS.  At least for me.  I am not afraid.  Quite the contrary, I feel stronger.  Rather, I just feel heartbroken for 20 moms, two of whom buried children today.  My ability to empathize has always been stronger than most.  I that is what gives people like me the desire to be peace-makers and friends with everyone.  We never want anyone to feel left out or hurt.  When I get upset, I want to eat but eating upsets my stomach so I have taken to walking instead.  After running 10 miles on hills yesterday, I walked another 10k.  (My abs are so sore today.)  I walked a 10k today too.  I wish I had a treadmill at work.  It would certainly eat some of the stress.  It just makes me focus on how I want to quit walking but I am so stubborn I will not so it gives me something else to focus on.  It ultimately makes me feel better to have the quiet peace of just walking.  I am hoping that I feel the same quiet peace working out tomorrow and doing a long run this weekend.  My mind is constantly craving the tiredness I get from working out so hard.  I want to go walk now, but here I am cooking dinner.  Tomorrow I row.  Hopefully the workout will be enough to charge me mentally for the rest of the day.  If not, there will be a short walk during the kids' video after dinner. 
I am sure every runner who plans to run a marathon in 2013 feels like the universe is speaking to them.  26 killed and 26 miles in a full marathon.  I feel the irony of that.  This grief, honestly, is helping me and motivating me to get seriously into shape since my mind and body feel the need to really constantly work in the physical sense now.  So maybe the universe is telling me something.  I remember hearing a long time ago that everything happens for a reason.  Even the bad stuff.  Either that event is to change the person it happens to or a person around them or someone they may not even know.  This event is changing me.  I certainly love my kids more and I do not mean that in that I actually love them more.  I mean that in that I show them that I love them more.  I appreciate them more.  Yes, my daughter is still maddening, but I get that when I drop them off at school that I used to take it for granted that they would come home.  Not so much these days.  When I had kids someone told me that they are loan from God.  I forgot along the way somewhere.  This event has made me remember that.  Courage.  It took courage for those 6 women to protect the children that they could.  I bet they never even thought twice about it.  They just did what was instinctual.  It is what we do best as women.  We protect and that takes courage.  Lots of it.  In that moment, I bet they felt no fear for themselves.  They just knew that they had to protect those children.  Talk about strength.