So tired of feeling bad emotionally

Lord knows how draining it is.  I feel like I am on a rollercoaster.  Some days are good.  Some days are really bad.  Life should not have this many serious ups and downs.  I have been thinking about the problem a lot this am.  Unfortunately, my trip the gym did not work out.  The Honda is well, trying to die.  I brought it back and left in the Nissan but my rowing gloves are in the Honda so I figured God was trying to tell me something when I got to the gym and realized that I had no gloves.  Rowing without gloves is hell on my hands so I decided to go back home and do my hip exercises.  I wish it were a lot warmer today.  I would have just walked outside then.  Anyways, back to the emotional BS.   Every time I think of it, I am reminded of V. Shoffstall's poem where she says, "Plant your own garden, instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers."  I really struggle with that.  I know all women do too.  We want feedback and to be desired.  These days for me anyways, that seems like so much to ask.  I feel like I feel good about myself most days.  I do.  There are certainly things I would change if I could, but all in all, I am happy with the way things look and feel.  I think for me and most women, is when we do not get the feedback, we start to wonder, "Maybe I am wrong."  So while I do agree with V. Shoffstall, I respectfully disagree because I think every women, even those who have planted their own gardens, still want the flowers brought to them.  We want to feel appreciated in every aspect not just the cooking dinner, cleaning the house, and the caretaking.  Those things just make you feel old and like you are hired help.  We want to feel appreciated in ways that make us feel like a woman outside of being hired help or a mom.  Being appreciated as a women gives us some of our youth back and helps strengthen our identities outside of the mom and employee and maid stuff.  That feeling of being a woman and being womanly is the core of who we are and most of us lose that along the way because we are too busy being moms and the hired help.  It is so sad.  Women just want to feel like women and be appreciated for being a woman so screw Mother's Day.  How about Woman's Day?  How about celebrating being female and all of the wonderful things that go along with it!  (And just to go on record, I do not mean this in a feminist way.  I am all about woman power, but I am female and appreciate those things about me that separate me from males.)
Anyways, my challenge, as I think about it, is to find a way to let go of the need to get feedback on being a woman outside of myself and my female friends.  Part of that means that I have to trust myself more and find that my feelings on myself are enough for me and will grow the biggest and best garden every.  How to do that is the million dollar question, right?  Figuring that one out would put the woman's magazine business out of business.  Isn't that what all of those magazines are about?  How to look better for your man and how make him appreciate your womanliness more?  Ok, I about died laughing as I wrote that, but the fact remains.  IT IS TRUE!  For me, in order to get off the emotional rollercoaster and find complete satisfaction in life, I have to figure out a way to do it because this situation I am in, well, it is not going to change.  I think I have been in denial of that for a long, long time, but the fact is, it is not going to change.  I need to reroute my thinking and work tirelessly on letting go of that need.
Today is going to be a beautiful day.  I am very excited and cannot wait to see what trouble we can get into today.  We have a very sweet friend getting married today. I hope and prays that she has a wonderful, long marriage.
Last but not least, Go KB!