On my mind

I have had a little girl named Annabelle on my mind for the last several weeks. I like with her each and every day, but these last few weeks have been different. When I normally think about her, sometimes I cry, but most of the time I just tear up and am able to control the crying. Lately, I cannot. I just cry and cry and cry. Annabelle died over 5 years ago when she was two and a half. It was May 4, 2005. She was the daughter of good friends of mine. It hit me this past May 4 that my daughter was almost exactly the same age that Annabelle was when she died. Their birthdays are days apart. (What I have always felt is that my daughter was meant to be born on her birthday. I carried my daughter for 40 weeks and 6 days before they induced, and I remember at delivery my doctor saying that my daughter would have hung in there as long as I had allowed her. Another 4 days and they would have shared the same birthday.)
One thing I think about every now and then is Annabelle's father telling me about the night before Annabelle died. How they had sat outside (which kept her up late) talking about the sky, the clouds, etc. So many moments go by in our lives...so many moments that we wish away because we are so busy and so many other things to do. None of us will ever get another moment with Annabelle. How do you deal with that? I am still trying to make sense of it.