A summer lost....

I finally realized about two weeks ago how horrible I really felt this summer. In realizing that, it made me bitter because I lost so much this summer. Summer is my favorite season and yet I was too tired too do so many wonderful things this summer. I felt ugly and fat and was not able to achieve any goals I had. Knowing that reminds me that I cannot let this go on. I feel so much better now and am so fearful of going back to that. So fearful. I feel strong and healthy and I want to feel that way always. I am too young to feel as old as I felt this summer.
I am lucky in on big change, though. I finally have a very good female friend outside of work. I am so thankful. She is a great woman and I admire her very much. We have a lot of stuff in common. I never thought I would ever have a real friend. She makes me a better person in a lot of ways. She pushes me gently in way that pushes me further but does not offend me. I was running the other day at lunch and I pictured us running together (like we do now) when our kids are older and out of the house and then drinking wine any time we can. I figure she will keep me running well into my forties and maybe fifties. I am thankful!!!!!!!!
I want to push myself further and need to find the best way to do that.