My son started school today. It has been an emotional day to say the least. I am not sad about him starting school, but for some reason I have been on edge. Not sure why, but a good friend of mine assured me it is normal. He has been in daycare for years, but thinking maybe it is the first time he is not under my control still. Daycare is a bit different from school...I get that.
With my son at school and my daughter in daycare, this has me thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life and what is right for me. I know it sounds terrible but lately, I have come to the realization that I hate my job. My job has taken on a life of its own. I am ready for it to end. I typically run away from problems and that was the case in the past, but I have never run away from hard work especially in my career with my current employer. Now, I am just ready to be done. It has lots its charm. Even when it was hard before, I felt like there was an ultimate reward, a satisfaction I took away. I do not feel that way any more. There is no satisfaction. There is never a "check" anywhere. Right now I am banking $ as much as I can to help my hubby and I make the move we want to NC. He is trying to make a career change too. I think the change he wants to make could be really good thing for all of us. I hope it works out. I am just ready for a change. I will suffer through with work until that change comes even if it means years. In the meantime, I need to figure out what I want to do with my life now. Now that the kids are starting school, it is only a matter of time before they go to high school and college and my active "raising" of children will be done. I need to figure it out. I have thought more about my original love of the earth and weather, but what do I do with that in NC?
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