Letter to my husband:

In typical Tiffany fashion, I have jumped to another major project in the midst of ending a smaller one...just I how I roll as you know. Life with me is base of extremes, some if wonderful and some of it maddening, I am sure. I guess I just thought I would be doing way more cleaning today. Not so.
I did not realize until last night how broken you really were when we met and through our young adult lives and even sometimes now. I was so absorbed in my own self pity, I guess I just never realized. I knew you had problems and guess I did know deep down that the arrogance and sense of superiority you held was a mask for a lot of insecurity. I just did not know how deep that insecurity went. I feel sorry for you now. I did not realize how much you hurt then. I was too wrapped up in my own pain to see that of anyone else. I just knew I needed to break you down. Truth be told, it was a challenge at first that I reveled in. Then, I just did not think anyone else out there would love me. You were it. That was probably why I stayed when I should have not stayed after some hurtful things. (Will not dredge those up today. You know what they are.) I put up with your unkindness, and you put up with my insanity and went along with it. What a pair.
The irony that I realized today as I spent most of the day painting is that we met as two very broken people. I was crazy and just wanted someone to really love me. You were afraid to live and just wanted someone to show you life. But not for being broken, we never would have stayed together let alone get married. I firmly believe that now. Had you been not so hurt and insecure, you would have gotten fed up with the drama. Had I not been so hurt and afraid, I would have told you enough was enough and that I deserved better. Life may not always be easy between us and cold sores and "flooding" and illness make keep us from feeling close sometimes, but at the end of the day, we made it through the worst and grew together. That is what ties us together and makes our relationship what it is. We grew up together, fought our demons together and pieced ourselves back together with help from one another. I would not be the woman I am today without you. I personally feel like I am on the cusp of being even better and that is all with your help and love and support. Just ironic to me that we met as two very broken people and here we are...wonderful, loving parents. We are part of such a nice, normal family and we have a very normal relationship minus the fear, the hurt, and the drama. Some how we made it work and built something really great out of it. I am proud of that. I hope you are too. I love you very much. We are better people and parents because of our scars. I firmly believe that. I hope you do too.