Life and other items

After about 10 minutes of trying unsuccessfully to get into my Ulta account, I gave up and moved over here.  Serious bummer. I really need some product and have no time to shop at work.  Oh well!  Maybe tomorrow! 
Life has been pretty crazy.  We have been gone a lot.  School starts next week so life speeds up and also slows down at the same time.  I have been thinking a lot of about those who suck the joy out of everything.  I think we all know people like that and have people like that in our lives. I have cut some of those people out.  Funny how that works. I have tried really hard to have a relationship with my sister and my parents.  I have.  It may not be on their terms, but their terms are not acceptable to me.  It means that they run my life and decide everything that I do.  That is not ok to me.  I love my mother and my sister, but I have to live my life and be the person I want to be.  Would I like them in my life?  Of course, but they cannot accept me for who I am.  They want me to be someone that I am not. I just cannot do that anymore.  I feel a lot of pressure from a lot of areas in my life for me to be someone that I am not.  I just cannot keep up that charade anymore.  It hurts.  It hurts a lot to be rejected by my family and yes, it is a rejection.  I have tried to meet them somewhere on their side, but too far over and it means giving up part of me, and I am just not willing to do that anymore. 
On another topic, I am not sure that I am made for trusting other people.  It just seems to be something not inherent in my make up.  Sure, I always hope for the best, but trusting is not something I do easily. I realized the other night that I tend to give too much of myself to others but that is the one piece I always hold back, and lord help you if you screw me at some point. Then trust is pretty much gone, and I am just not sure if it can ever be recaptured.  How do you move forward after a betrayal?  That is what I am left wondering.  How do I deal with the pain and wonder?  Do I accept the hand dealt to me?  I am tired of just accepting things.  I deserve better.  I just never thought so until these last few years.  I know myself more now so I know that I have worth and value to me.  Maybe not to anyone else, but for me, I do.