Regrets

Have you ever noticed how often celebrities are asked what their biggest regret is? I know what mine is. I did not enjoy my 20's like I should have. I remember being 10, 11, or 12 and thinking that in the year 2000 I would turn 24. The funny thing is that I never thought beyond that. I never thought about being 30 something. Here I am 30 something. I never contemplated what life would be like in my 30's. I was so focused on how fabulous being 24 would be. At 24 I was a miserable woman. I was fat and ugly and did not care about myself at all. I never ate anything that grew out of the ground and I only ran "when chased." How funny is that? So at 24 I was a lot less than fabulous. I thought 30 and 40 was old. Here I am staring down the barrel of 40 and I spend each day wondering how I can be more fabulous. Can you be fabulous at 30 something? I wasted my 20's not being fabulous. Ok, that is not altogether true. Around 26, I did clean up my act and lost 75 pounds and got down to a svelte 145 which is only 12 pounds more than I weigh now, but I did not enjoy life. I was too busy being the oldest 20 something I knew. I have spent so much time in the last few months lamenting over losing my 20's that it was driving me crazy. Some days it still does. Why didn't I enjoy life more. Why didn't I wake up and just go do something. So many regrets wrapped up in those thoughts. So many regrets. Time. That is the thing. Once it is gone, it is gone. I can never get it back. I think that is the reason I refuse to lose another second now. I never want to look back at my 30's and regret losing that time.