How do I learn that I am loved?

It is a simple question if not a silly one. Who has to learn such a thing? Yet, I need to learn it. Rationally I know that my hubby loves me. He might be surprised to hear that that, but yes, I know it. Every now and then, however, it creeps into my brain that he is only with me by default. Ok, it is more than every now and then I admit it so what do I do? Do I trust him? My hubby gets mad because he thinks that I think he is this horrible person. Quite the contrary. I think he is amazingly wonderful. I just wonder if I am the right girl for him and if I am not, what are we doing here. I told him today that I wish I could be one of those women who could give him a "hall pass" and let him go live another free life for a week or two, but it would never work when he came home. I would never forgive him so I cannot do it. How do I trust that he loves me? How do I fix that part of my mind? I trust that my kids love me, but I also know that they have no choice. I am the main focus of their life. I trust that my staff loves me, but I know what a great boss I am. How is it that I cannot bring myself to trust the person I have put the most trust in by the simple act of marrying him?